"first timer"

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  Posted: Jun 01, 2009 09:46 PM

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  gertrude

  Park Hills, MO

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  We are expecting our first grandchild in another state in the next week or so. Our son says not to come when the baby is born. He wants us to wait a week so that they can establish a schedule with the baby, etc. I know the other grandparents will be there to help. How do I deal with the hurt feelings?

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  Posted: Jun 08, 2009 09:06 AM
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  GrandDiva

  Asheville, NC

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  Gertrude, your son and daughter-in-law need the first week or two to bond with their baby and work out schedules as a family. Please obey their wishes and visit at a later date. The close proximity to her family does not necessarily mean they will be there during that time. Hopefully they will also respect their request for privacy. My parents lived in another state and they were very understanding and waited to visit. When my daughter had her first baby I remembered how much I appreciated the first two weeks of alone-time and waited to visit. When we did go they had started to establish sleep patterns and my son-in-law had returned to work. Our extra help at that time meant so much more to them. We continue to be caring, involved grandparents, even though we live states apart. Also, I suggest you read the other question about tips for grandparents here on Boomerater. There are some good insights from first-hand experience and some important do's and dont's for new grandparents. So many things have changed since we had our children. Our local hospital has a refresher course for new grandparents that is very valuable.